Run(x2), turbo(x2), gym, plus tasering, short-hauls, and something nasty through the post

Monday started with some interval training with my friend and training partner. His idea was for a gentle warm up run (across the fields) and then to do 4 repeats of 4 minutes at 95% effort with 3 minute rests. With no idea how to judge 95% effort, I felt that running just about as hard as possible was only likely to be 5% out, at most.

The first sprint was interrupted by having to open a farm gate so we decided to do the remaining sprints by distance rather than time. There was a section between gates – there and back was close to 1km. The ‘sprints’ didn’t coincide with kms measured by my Garmin but kms 3, 4 and 5 were run at 4m 54s, 4m 44s, and 4m 32s respectively. I can’t believe they got faster – that’s not at all how it felt. In all, nearly 7km at an average of 5.44/km.

It was a really hard session. The rests were supposed to be ‘active rests’ but I found trying to breathe plenty active enough.

I must find out how to stop him reading Runner’s World in case it gives him any more crazy ideas.

I gave the swim doctor session a miss on Monday but got on the turbo early on Tuesday evening. I managed 45 minutes @26.8kph (16.6mph). With the trip out to the alps looming, I’ve realised that I’ve not been out on a bike since two very short rides in October. I fear that the alps are going to seem steeper this year.

On Wednesday I dropped off a car to the garage (rogue brake warning light – sensor wire broken when they changed out the winter wheels last week?) and then drove to our older son’s in Kingston-upon-Thames. The fireplace in one of the bedrooms is not going to be a working fireplace but some filling in of the existing hole is needed so that the new cast iron grate can be plastered in properly to give it ‘the look’.

The idea was that I would leave them the car and make my way back to our flat to meet up with my wife who’d had a day’s shopping. That did not work out because his resident’s parking permit application was rejected as the car isn’t registered to his address (just like it wasn’t last year when he was granted a permit)!

I drove home instead of heading into London – but after the work and more than 4 hours of driving I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to do any exercise.

I ran in to collect the car from the garage on Thursday morning – 4.5km (2.8 miles). They had broken the sensor wire when they changed the wheels over last week.

Later I set about starting repairs to the garden shed that was trashed by a falling branch a few years ago. I have no idea why I’ve had a mental block about doing anything to it – but in the meantime it has, of course, deteriorated further making it a bigger job than it needed to have been. Crazy.

On Friday I discovered that the new floor to the gym has now been finished – a moody dark grey. They even seem to have changed the loop of music (and not made it worse!). I did an hour with increased weights which was tough, followed by 3 hours in the bike shop and then back to the re-roofing of the shed.

Shopping and more work on the shed on Saturday, and I was also watching out for qualifying for the Monaco Grand Prix, the Rugby Premiership final, the triathlons in Cagliari (great wins for the Brits in both the women’s and men’s races) and some great racing in the Giro. What an afternoon’s sport. A session on the turbo later in the afternoon – 45 minutes @28.3kph (17.5mph).

Rest on Sunday – with some watering of the garden as (for once) we are enjoying a dry spell … wait for the water shortages and hosepipe bans.

Interesting stuff this week

1. African wise words: One who marries for love alone will have bad days but good nights

2. BBC News website: And I thought a ‘Fender bender’ was a car crash

A black Fender Stratocaster smashed by Kurt Cobain, the late frontman of US rock band Nirvana, has sold at auction for nearly $600,000 (£480,000). It was destroyed as Nirvana were working on their break-out album ‘Nevermind’ in the early 1990s. It has been put back together but is no longer playable.

It is signed by all three band members and also features an affectionate inscription by Cobain to his friend and musical collaborator Mark Lanegan – who died last year. Cobain, who often misspelt his own name, signed the instrument “Kurdt Kobain”.

3. BBC News website: And the aim is still to sell coffee

In a recent Starbucks advert in India a couple meet their daughter in a coffee shop after being estranged from her for years and the father shows his acceptance of her decision to transition by addressing her by her chosen name, Arpita, instead of Arpit.

The ad was released earlier this month and has since been viewed over a million times on YouTube and has over eight million views on Twitter. Many users praised the brand for its message of inclusivity, and for featuring a transgender model in the lead role but the ad was also criticised by some users who accused the brand of tokenism and claimed it was “against Indian culture”.

4. BBC News website: 95-year-old woman who was Tasered by police has died

She was critically injured after police responded to reports she was wandering around the care home with a steak knife at about 04:00 last Wednesday.

Last week, police said she was “armed” with a steak knife. On Friday, they confirmed that she required a walking frame to move and the officer discharged his Taser after she began approaching “at a slow pace”.

The 33-year-old senior constable who fired the Taser will face court in early July on charges of recklessly causing grievous bodily harm, assault occasioning actual bodily harm, and common assault.

5. BBC News website: You couldn’t make it up …

Australian police are investigating after at least 65 women received letters through the post with handwritten messages and containing used condoms.

Police believe the victims are linked and part of a targeted attack as all of the women who have come forward attended the same private girls’ school in 1999 and the women’s addresses were obtained from a yearbook they put together as pupils 24 years ago.

Some letters were handwritten, some typed, but all contained “suggestive and threatening… sexualised” messages. Investigators are carrying out DNA and handwriting analysis to track down the perpetrator.

6. BBC News website: The end of a glittering road

Mark Cavendish, one of Britain’s most successful cyclists, will retire at the end of the season. He has won 161 races since 2005, two green points jerseys at the Tour and in 2021 he equalled the legendary Eddy Merckx’s record of 34 Tour de France stage victories.

Cavendish’s other major achievements include an omnium silver medal at the 2016 Rio Olympics, the 2011 Road World Championships rainbow jersey, the 2009 Milano-San Remo ‘monument’ one-day classic, 16 stage wins in the Giro and three in the Vuelta a Espana.

Can he win a stage in this year’s Tour to take the record outright?

7. BBC News website: Let the train take the strain

France has banned domestic short-haul flights where train alternatives exist, in a bid to cut carbon emissions. The ban ends routes where the same journey could be made by train in under two-and-a-half hours, largely ruling out air travel between Paris and cities including Nantes, Lyon and Bordeaux, while connecting flights are unaffected.

Critics have described the measures as “symbolic bans”.

The UK is said (but only by me) to be considering the same but, taking strikes, cancellations and delays into account, banning air routes that can be replaced by a 2.5 hour rail journey only seems to rule out flights of about 25 miles

Run(x4), swim, mow(x2), gym, plus procreation, frog mucus, and alternative medicine

I took a car in to the garage for a service on Monday morning and ran back – 6.3km (almost 4 miles). It was horribly hard – out of all proportion to the short distance. I had planned for the holiday ballast to go last week but having a son home meant more cooking and eating than usual – so this had better be a week of more discipline on the food front.

Gardening after that and then the swim doctor session in the early evening – my first for a few weeks. As hard as ever but enjoyable, nevertheless. About 850m of swimming, at a guess.

I ran with my wife on a cool but sunny Tuesday morning – 6km (3.7miles). Not fast but much better than Monday’s horrible run. I mowed again in the afternoon – I would have been happy to embrace ‘no mow May’ but the rain and holiday meant that the lawns were already out of control by the time May started.

However, I have not mown the paddock at all this year, so I think I’m doing my bit for the insects. In fact, the grass in the paddock is already so long that I’m not sure how I’m going to get a mower over it at all – but that’s a problem for another day.

On Wednesday I ran with my friend and training partner who has recovered from his broken metatarsal and (with his wife who recently hurt her knee) is back training for the Race to The Stones. I ran 17.3km (10.75 miles) along a mixture of farm tracks, roads, and muddy and sandy paths.

It started cool but finished fairly warm and I found it enjoyable but very hard work – I’ve not run that far since the 100km ultra last July. It does occur to me that I’d not now be too keen on (or capable of) running that 5 more times.

In the evening I drove down to Bournemouth and spent Thursday fixing two broken fence posts. A relatively tough job (I think it’s harder to replace posts than put new ones in). I managed it but then spotted a rotten rail further along so there’s more to do next visit. I also managed to mow – again the lawns hadn’t been done for quite a while.

Friday morning I went to the gym – it’s still camped out in the leisure centre’s foyer and one of the squash courts. The new floor in the proper gym was supposed to be finished by now but still has no completion date. It’s a pain because 4 of the machines I like to use are not set up – and the squash court doesn’t have air conditioning.

I’ve been getting very tired of the music playlist at the gym – it hasn’t changed for years and, if you go at the same time of day, you hear exactly the same songs. As an example of ‘be careful what you wish for’, it seems to have changed … for the worse.

After that I did the usual stint volunteering in the bike shop.

Lots of stuff on Saturday, including two trips to a friend in a nearby village to collect 5 bikes and a tandem from one of his neighbours who was donating them to the bike shop. Lovely British classic bikes, including three Merlins (the 1950’s Merlin Brothers bikes, not the modern ones), a Carpenter and a Bernard Lee (by the cycle frame builder of that name, not the actor who played ‘M’ in the early Bond films). I gardened, including repotting two olive trees.

We ran on a warm Sunday morning – 6.25km (just under 4 miles). I always find the first 1500m of any run to be hard, while my breathing and heart rate stabilise. It’s my own fault for never doing any warming up – but at the moment it’s harder than usual. I’ve lost about 3 lbs this week without doing anything particular to lose it but next week needs firmer action.

At midday I took another cycle training session – pretty successful with all the children making good progress from balance bikes to pedalling.

Interesting stuff this week

1. African wise words: If you are filled with pride, then you will have no room for wisdom

2. BBC News website: The celibate promoting procreation?

The Pope has warned that starting a family in Italy is becoming a “titanic effort” that only the rich can afford.

Italy has one of the lowest fertility rates in the EU and births dropped below 400,000 last year – a new low. Warning that pets were replacing children in some households, the Pope said a woman had opened her bag and asked him to “bless her baby” – except it was not a baby, but a small dog.

I must say that I did my best all those years ago – but can’t claim it was a ‘titanic effort’. I guess he isn’t planning on making a personal contribution on this particular issue

3. BBC News website: Wondering what to do with that jar of frog mucus?

An Australian court has been hearing evidence about two sudden deaths. One was from a suspected cardiac event, while authorities believe the other person died after injuries from severe vomiting. Both incidents happening shortly after the use of kambo – poisonous frog mucus – in an ancient Amazonian ritual.

Kambo is a waxy substance harvested by scraping the skin of a live giant monkey frog. In a kambo ceremony, humans drink over a litre of water, small burns are created on the skin and the substance is applied to the open wounds.

It triggers an intense so-called detoxification process, causesing blood pressure to rise, the heart to race and the body to purge by vomiting or defecating – often both. Symptoms range in severity, and typically last up to half an hour.

4. BBC News website: DIY robbery?

A high-profile Sydney jeweller has been arrested for, it is alleged, planning a robbery at his own luxury shop, and then making a bogus insurance claim.

It is claimed that two men threatened him and a female staff member at his central Sydney store, demanding access to the safe, but police say he organised the incident to defraud his insurance company. He faces a string of charges including robbery, fraud and deception.

You have to feel sorry for the innocent staff member who was, allegedly, threatened by one man with a knife, suffering physical injuries and, I guess, real trauma

5. BBC News website: Thank you, but I’ll have an aspirin

A man has been arrested in Mozambique for being in possession of a man’s head and genitals, police have said. Investigations led to the arrest of the man who confessed to killing a man and cutting off his head and genitals so that he could sell them.

Body parts are used by some so-called traditional doctors to make potions, which they claim can cure illnesses, remove bad omens and improve peoples’ lives. It is said that the suspect admitting to killing and decapitating the bodies of three other people.

6. BBC News website: The train now arriving in 1945 …

Travellers on an intercity train in Austria were startled on Sunday when a recording of an Adolf Hitler speech was played over the train’s intercom shortly before the train arrived in Vienna.

Train staff were unable to stop the recording and were unable to make their own announcements – it is assumed that the announcements were made by people directly on the train via intercoms. It is understood that complaints have been filed against two people.

Turbo, run, mow, gym, cycle training (plus wine, lollipops, plane crashes and nearly a joke)

We planned to run on Monday – but it started to rain and the forecast was for that to continue all day. I quite like running in gentle rain but I find it harder to get out if it’s already raining – so the run got postponed.

The rain also removed the possibility of mowing but to save the day (sort of) I got on the turbo later in the afternoon (for the first time since early March). I managed 30 minutes @ 32.6kph which is faster than I’ve done for a while – more due to putting some air in the rear tyre than any great improved performance from me.

The postponed run happened on Tuesday. It was the warmest run for months (except for Mauritius) but we did 6.33km (about 4 miles) taking it gently. It was quite hard – I’d better lose the extra holiday ballast as quickly as possible.

I was very pleased with myself for mowing a month ago but the wet weather since then meant that I got back from holiday to find it even longer than it was before I mowed it in the first place. I bit the bullet on Tuesday afternoon and tackled it, driving slowly, with the blades set at their highest and stopping frequently to unblock the chute of cuttings. It took two hours and the best thing was that the thunder and heavy rain had only just started by the time I finished.

On Wednesday morning the lawn looked much better for the effort and the two magpies and dozen jackdaws on it seemed to agree. My wife then disappeared to London for a few days while I collected our older son from the station later. I gardened Thursday while he, having borrowed a car for the journey, had a 12 hour day going to the funeral of a friend’s father.

I went to the gym on Friday morning, only to find that its floor is being replaced and some of the machines had been set up in the foyer/coffee area and one of the squash courts. I can only imagine the effort taken to clear a gym of machines and free weights. Five of the machines I use weren’t set up in the new areas so I improvised a bit and managed a decent 45 minutes.

After that it was back to the bike shop for the morning session while our son worked from (our) home.

With rail strikes, he couldn’t get back to London on Friday so I took him to the station on Saturday morning. Significant road works meant the 30 minute journey there took over an hour – and another hour on the way back thanks to the necessary diversion. Later I did another couple of hours at the bike shop, providing cover for the usual Saturday afternoon volunteer.

My wife returned later on Saturday. Today (Sunday), I helped to take a children’s training session at the cycle park and we are off to see friends later for a what I know will be a delightful evening.

The impending challenges for 2023 are the Race To The Stones and a week’s cycling in the alps, both in July. After doing the 50km RTTS in 2021 and the 100km version last year, I’m pleased to say that this year that particular challenge is not mine. The friends who made a wonderful husband and wife support team for me in last year’s race are running it this year – with me and my wife as their pit crew.

I’m envious in some respects – it was a great experience last year (and I’d love to try it again in cooler weather, without the cramp) but being in support looks like a lot of fun … and the training for it might just be a little easier.

Interesting stuff this week

1. African wise words: One who loves the vase, loves also what is inside

2. BBC News website: The nutritional benefits of lollipops and wine

After setting off on what was meant to be a short trip travelling through dense bushland in the state of Victoria, an Australian woman took a wrong turn and her vehicle became stuck in the mud.

She only had a few snacks and lollipops to eat, and no water. Although a non-drinker, she had was a bottle of wine that she was planning to give it as a present – and that got her through. After five nights stranded, she was discovered by emergency services on Friday as they flew overhead as part of a search.

No mention of whether this has turned her into a wine drinker (or how she managed to make just one bottle last so long)

3. Last coronation stuff?

Last week, the satirical magazine, Private Eye, had a blank front cover save for the words ‘Man in hat sits on chair’.

4. BBC News website: Most plane crashes happen by accident

A YouTuber who intentionally crashed an aeroplane for views (2.9 million to date) will plead guilty to obstructing a federal investigation by cleaning up the site of the crash, US prosecutors say.

He left a Santa Barbara airport on a solo flight with cameras mounted on his plane, taking a parachute and a selfie stick. The claim is that he set off planning to eject from the plane and video himself parachuting to the ground, and his airplane as it crashed.

He hiked to the site of the crash and recovered the footage, before later claiming he did not know the location of the site. He returned by helicopter and removed the wreckage, which he later destroyed, the statement says.

5. BBC News website: In an almighty rush?

The Archbishop of Canterbury has been fined £300, together with a £120 victim surcharge and £90 in legal costs and given three penalty points on his licence, after he was caught driving at 25mph in a 20mph zone last year.

He admitted the offence in writing and was sentenced at a private magistrates’ court hearing.

6. Almost a joke

I was asked if I could name a country with no ‘R’ in it.

‘No way’ I said.

Recovering from the holiday, plus sanity, quiche and hopping to it

After getting home from Mauritius on Friday morning we spent the rest of the day unpacking, washing clothes and recovering from the 19 hour trip. All was well with the house and garden.

I did not watch the coronation on Saturday. As I write, I am waiting for a knock on the door and to be dragged to the Tower for treason. My wife did watch and I could hear how wonderful the music was. Whatever one’s views of the monarchy, we do know how to put on a show when it comes to pageantry.

In the afternoon we went to the Tithe Barn for the village coronation party, which was very good indeed, although it was a bit chilly and held inside due to the rain. I hope going isn’t two-faced – it was more support for village events and a chance to see friends. Not a bad venue for the party!

On Sunday, I returned two of the books I’d read on holiday (over 1200 pages between them) to the chap who’d lent them to me. They are excellent murder mystery/crime novels by CJ Sansom, set in the reign of Henry VIII. That’s the first 3 of the (currently) 7 book series I’ve read. The third spanned the short time Catherine Howard was Queen – she was the 5th of Henry’s six wives so I guess that later books will be covering the tumultuous years after Henry’s death (1547).

Other than returning books it was a quiet day, still recovering from the journey back – but at least I managed some gardening after buying vegetable plants from the WI stall in the morning. The grass, of course, flourished while we were away but it was a bit too wet to mow – shame.

The plan is to get back to the running, cycling and gym next week. The kilo I lost before the holiday has returned and brought a few of its friends, so something needs to be done about that.

Interesting stuff this week these last couple of days

1. African wise words: A man accused of stealing a goat mustn’t entertain guests with dried meat

2. BBC News website: Sanity prevails over the coronation ‘oath of allegiance’

The Archbishop was to say: “I call upon all persons of goodwill in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of the other realms and the territories to make their homage, in heart and voice, to their undoubted King, defender of all.”

Those interested would reply: “I swear that I will pay true allegiance to your majesty, and to your heirs and successors according to law. So help me God.”

But, in a last minute change, he said: “I now invite those who wish to offer their support to do so, with a moment of private reflection, by joining in saying God save King Charles at the end or, for those with the words before them, to recite them in full.”

I don’t take sole credit for that but, obviously, they read my post of last Friday …

3. A coronation to get your teeth into

Coronation chicken was a recipe created to mark the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II in 1953. This time we have a coronation quiche. Next time I am expecting a coronation burger from McDonald’s.

4. BBC News website: A rather lame robbery

Three people broke into a shoe shop in Peru and made off with more than 200 trainers – but they were all for the right foot. The shop owner estimates that they have a value of more $13,000 (£10,000) – although the thieves may struggle to sell them on.

Mauritius: lovely (swimming, and even a run and a gym session) plus chelonians, feet, knitting and oaths

I have been inundated by almost one expression of concern over my radio silence last Sunday. Here’s the reason.

Monday 24th April was spent getting ready before setting off on holiday the following day. We drove to Heathrow, got on a plane and (a mere 12 hours later) arrived in Mauritius. While I’m not frightened of flying I wouldn’t really do it for fun so this was a particularly long haul for me but it was part of the continuing celebrations for my wife’s significant birthday year.

Mauritius is an island of about 2,040 square kilometres (790 sq mi) sitting in the Indian Ocean around 1000km to the east of Madagascar, at about 20°S. Just over 600 years ago the Dutch took possession which then passed to the French before we took it from them in 1810, holding it as a colony before it became independent in 1968. They drive on the left, the road signs look completely English with English, French and Mauritian Creole being spoken.

It’s a lovely island – the picture is the view from our terrace as the early morning cloud burnt off (or the late afternoon cloud rolled in?). Mauritians seem to be charming people and we had a terrific time, mainly relaxing (and eating and drinking, I fear) but doing a lot of swimming and snorkeling – and I did manage a little running (too hot but an outing for my minimalist running shoes) and a session in the hotel gym.

We ticked off the monkey, dolphin and sea turtle sightings on a day-long speed boat trip, but we probably didn’t do the island justice in terms of seeing enough of what it has to offer – a fine excuse to go back one day.

We went ‘all inclusive’ at the hotel – I have no idea if the extra you pay is more or less than the extras you consume but it simplifies things and works well as long as you don’t eat and drink like an idiot (which I seem to do for a couple of days before coming to my senses). We had some cloud and even a bit of (warm and welcome) rain but daytime temperatures were typically somewhere between 28 – 32℃ (82 – 90℉) which is too hot for me but my wife loves it.

We left on Thursday evening 4 May to fly back to the UK, arriving on Friday morning. We left in 30℃ and arrived in London to 13℉, struggling with the usual end-of-holiday dilemma of whether to swelter on departure or shiver on arrival. A door to door trip of 19 hours.

While we were there I got talking to a Polish man who had driven 150km to Berlin to get a plane to Paris to pick up his flight to Mauritius – only to be told his first flight had been cancelled last October. Alternatives were arranged but he lost his extra leg room bookings … and I guess he was probably 6ft 5inches.

When he did get to Mauritius, he picked up a hire car only to be stopped by the Police as he neared the hotel, who told him that the car was a private car and so was not allowed to be hired to him. He was told he had to drive straight back to the airport to swap the car – and he was given a violation ticket to serve on the hirer.

He was still smiling – a charming chap with the patience of a saint.

Interesting stuff this week

1. African wise words: A good name is better than a good perfume

2. BBC News website: Happy birthday, dear tortoise, happy birthday to you

Jonathan the tortoise turns 190 this year and there will be a three-day party for him at his home on the island of St Helena in the South Atlantic Ocean.

Although it is not known exactly how old Jonathan is, a photograph taken in 1882 shows that he was already fully grown when brought to the island – indicating that he was about 50 years of age at the time.

He’s the oldest living land animal and was recently named the oldest tortoise ever (or to be more exact the oldest chelonian – a category which includes all turtles, terrapins and tortoises).

We know a lady (now in her 80s) who comes from St Helena and remembers riding on Jonathan when she was a girl

3. BBC News website: Best (delicate) foot forward

The man who measured the King’s feet for the shoes he will wear at his Coronation said it had been “an amazing experience”. The company co-founder has measured the King’s feet several times and described them as “delicate”.

The King made an official visit to the firm’s factory in 2019. He has since made several purchases. The shoes to be worn for the Coronation cost about £3,500.

Oh, please …

4. BBC News website: A British approach to high-tech

Two British companies are to fly an innovative, low-cost radar satellite – part of which will be knitted on a knitting machine.

Called CarbSar, the satellite will use radar technology to see through cloud and will even work at night. The mission will launch next year, and could help fill a gap in Britain’s spying capacity.

‘and will even work at night’ – I assumed they all did

5. BBC News website: ‘and here is the short range forecast’

The first images from Europe’s new weather satellite, Meteosat-12, have just been released. IT sits 36,000km above the equator and is currently in a testing phase that will last most of this year.

When Meteosat-12’s data is finally released to meteorological agencies, it’s expected to bring about a step-change in forecasting skill. Warnings of imminent, hazardous conditions should improve greatly.

Very useful, I’m sure, but is a warning of an imminent event ‘forecasting’ on a slightly short timescale

6. BBC News website: More swearing than allegiance?

As part of the impending coronation of King Charles III, for the first time, the public are being given an active role in the ceremony as they are invited to swear allegiance to the King. A close friend of the King has said that Charles would find the idea of people paying homage to him during his Coronation “abhorrent”.

The Archbishop of Canterbury has said swearing allegiance to the monarch, was “an invitation; it’s not a command”. The order of service will read: “All who so desire, in the abbey, and elsewhere, say together: “I swear that I will pay true allegiance to Your Majesty, and to your heirs and successors, according to law. So help me God.”

If the King would find it abhorrent but it is still in the service, it seems to me this must mean that either: (a) the King does not know the content of his own coronation service, or (b) he has failed to express his abhorrence, or (c) his expressed abhorrence has been ignored.

Do me a favour …