Swim, run, gym, walk (x2), turbo (the world’s dirtiest man, ‘active’ politicians and snakes)

We stayed in Bournemouth on Sunday night and drove back on Monday after a walk along the promenade, in a weak sun and a strong wind.

I decided to get back on the horse (figuratively) and went to the swim doctor session on Monday night – my first swim for three weeks. It wasn’t so much that I’d missed it, more a feeling that if I left it much longer I would have found it even harder to get back to it.

I was a little apprehensive because of the continuing cough but I made the swim a pretty steady front crawl for 900m. Even that left me breathing really hard … but it always does so it probably doesn’t prove anything other than that I still don’t swim efficiently.

Considering how lightly I got away with my recent (first and, I hope, only) dose of Covid, and being at the lower end of the sensitivity scale, It’s odd how much I’m anticipating problems as I get back to exercise. Despite that, I ran one of my usual loops on Tuesday – 7.2km (4.45 miles) and, to my surprise, managed just outside 5:30/km – a bit faster than usual.

I can only assume that I’m lucky enough to have little or no Covid legacy, and that perhaps the two recent parkruns and the 10k race have changed my perception of how fast I can run. Perhaps I just don’t feel that I have to leave the house and immediately slip into my previous ‘default’ plod?

As a matter of absolutely no surprise whatsoever, I maintained my annual ritual of failing to get a ballot place for the London Marathon. Our older son was in the same boat but our younger son got a place so my belief that the ballot is pure myth can’t be true.

An hour in the gym on Wednesday morning went really well and I managed to fit in sit-ups, the plank routine and some stretching alongside the weights. I drove up to London on Thursday for lunch with some old work mates.

Full of beer, good food and good wine, I decided to walk most of the way back to the flat – about 5km (just over 3 miles) in uncomfortable shoes that gave me blisters and a sizeable bruise on my right foot. I stayed overnight and walked (with different shoes) another 3km (nearly 2 miles) to pick up the car on Friday morning. Then I drove to our older son’s to help with more work around the house and garden and to pick up a ladder, some wood and some rubbish for disposal.

My foot was still sore and bruised on Saturday so I opted out of a run and, for a couple of pleasant hours, joined a working party developing part of the churchyard into a ‘garden of contemplation’.

I made the most of the clocks going back an hour on Sunday morning – and had the extra time asleep. If anything, my foot was worse so that put paid to the intended run. Instead I spent a couple of hours helping to clear out the bike shop – we are having to move as the current premises are being redeveloped and our new ones won’t be available for a month so everything is going into storage.

With the foot not allowing a run, I tried it on the turbo in the afternoon. Fortunately, in cycle shoes, it was fine and I managed an hour for 26.8km (16.65 miles) – longer than I’ve done recently but hot work.

An odd week for exercise, only one run but enjoying the benefit of liking a lot of different types of exercise. With no events on the horizon, I’m sure the relative rest won’t do me any harm.

Interesting stuff this week

1. African wise words: To get lost is to learn the way

2. BBC News website: More on Amy Pieters

Dutch cyclist Amy Pieters has taken her first steps since suffering severe brain damage in a training crash in Alicante in December. The 31-year-old, three-time Madison world champion, only regained consciousness in April after being put in an induced coma following surgery.

She is recovering in an intensive neuro-rehabilitation centre. Her website said she could “walk for short moments when supported” but could not yet talk.

Fate can be very unfair, but where there’s life …

3. BBC News website: “The world’s dirtiest man” dies aged 94

Iranian, Amou Haji had refused to use soap and water for more than half a century, fearing it would make him sick. He had avoided previous attempts by villagers to get him clean.

According to local media, he finally succumbed to pressure and washed a few months ago but became ill shortly afterwards and died on Sunday.

4. BBC News website: Woman killed and swallowed whole by a python

The lady, said to be in her 50s, had made her way to work at a rubber plantation on Sunday morning but was reported missing after failing to return that night.

A day later villagers found a python – which was at least 5m (16ft) long – with what appeared to be a large stomach. Locals later killed the snake and found her body, largely intact, inside.

That is just so sad

5. BBC News website: Are politicians too passive?

A Brazilian politician is in custody after throwing grenades at police officers who came to his house in Rio de Janeiro state to arrest him on the grounds that he violated the conditions of his house arrest.

The 69-year-old former leader of the PTB political party, also fired a number of shots from a rifle, shattering the windshield of a police car. Two officers were wounded by shrapnel before the politician surrendered.

6. BBC News website: Brian Robinson has died aged 91

Robinson, from Mirfield, West Yorkshire, was the first British cyclist to finish the Tour de France (in 1955) and was the first to win a stage of the race in 1958 (and another in 1959). He also won the prestigious Criterium du Dauphine stage race in 1961 and was the first Briton to stand on the podium of one of cycling’s Monuments, Milan-Sanremo, finishing third in 1957.

Robinson, joined his local cycling club as a teenager and later took up racing while working for the family building company. He competed for Britain at the 1952 Olympics before turning professional, riding the Tour de France for the first time in 1955 when he finished 29th overall.

With all the success in more recent years, it’s easy to forget riders like Robinson who was a trailblazer, inspiring the generation that followed, including Tom Simpson and Barry Hoban. 

Turbo (x2), run (x2), gym, plus goldfish, chess, trains and goldfish (did I mention goldfish?)

After battling through Covid, we both tested negative at the start of the week and something like what passes for normal life resumed, but cautiously as we both still have the remains of a cough.

I decided to miss the swim doctor session on Monday but took a trip up to our older son’s place to help with some decorating (there is a lot to do) and pick up the car he’s been borrowing and which needs an MOT.

Going via our flat I left a key to the place in Bournemouth for our younger son to collect ahead of his half term trip there with his girlfriend, next week. As teachers, they have no choice but to be off for the expensive holiday weeks so it’s good to be able to help them.

After the necessary domestic chores (it’s fair to say very little cleaning went on last week), my mind started to turn towards exercise. I had no plan to jump back in to the same amount as I was doing before the virus but I felt it would be interesting to see what effect it had.

I decided on a turbo trainer session on the basis that, if it wasn’t going well and I had to bail out, I wouldn’t be far from home. I tried it on Tuesday early evening – more out of curiosity than expectation – I knocked it down a gear to be cautious, but I managed an easy 30 minutes @ 27.7kph (17.2mph) and everything seemed to be working OK.

Everything felt fine on Wednesday – despite my continuing cold – but I took it gently and got back on the turbo again on Thursday. Another 30 minutes, a little faster, at 28.1kph (17.5mph).

I drove the car to the garage for its MOT on Friday morning, ran to the gym, did a 45 minute session on the weights, and then ran home. Only 4.2km (2.6 miles) but the first running and the first weights since the virus. Again, it all went pretty well.

Perhaps I’ve been listening to too many tales of post-Covid suffering but I’ve been expecting the worst all week … and it’s not happened, although I do feel quite tired and wouldn’t say I was entirely back to full strength. The gym was followed by the usual shift in the bike shop and a trip for my ‘flu jab.

Of course, not everything can go well – the car failed the MOT emissions test so that’s a new catalytic converter needed. Friends we had to postpone from last week came for lunch on Saturday which was great – and helped to put off any inclination I might have had for exercise.

Back down to Bournemouth on Sunday to do a few chores and set up the house for our younger son and his girlfriend who were arriving on Monday. It rained, with thunder and lightening, but at least I managed to put up a replacement gate post. I usually regret leaving Bournemouth without having done a run down the promenade – but the weather made it easier.

Strange week in many ways – Covid gone and some light exercise restarted but still with the feeling that normal service has not yet been resumed.

Interesting stuff this week

1. African wise words: Nobody is born wise

2. BBC News website: The memory of a Goldfish?

A team from Oxford University trained nine fish to travel 70cm (2.3ft) after which they were prompted by an external cue – such as a researcher waving their hand – to turn around and swim back to the start position. They then received a food reward.

The researchers then tested if the fish would swim the same distance if the starting position was changed and the cue was removed. They found eight of the nine fish accurately remembered when to turn back to get their reward, without being prompted. Researchers said it showed the fish could accurately estimate distance and that the study disproves the long-held belief goldfish have little or no memory.

Do you sometimes think ‘researchers’ have too much time on their hands?

‘Goldfish Times’ led with the story about how goldfish researchers trained some scientists to give them food for something as simple as a short swim.

3. BBC News website: The growing environmental problem of “e-waste”

This year, 5.3 billion mobile phones will be thrown away although many people are keeping old phones, rather than recycling them, research suggests. It is estimated that in the UK alone, more than 20 million unused but working electrical items, worth as much as possibly £5.63bn ($6.29bn), are currently being hoarded.

Precious minerals not extracted from waste electronics, such as the copper in wire or the cobalt in rechargeable batteries, have to be mined.

4. BBC News website: Motoring In-convenience

A man whose job it is to help preserve Japan’s cultural heritage has accidentally smashed his car into the country’s oldest toilet at a centuries-old Buddhist temple.

The communal loo in Kyoto dates back to the 15th century and is designated an important cultural asset. Its ancient door was ruined after the employee hit the accelerator without realising the car was in reverse, police said.

5. BBC News website: The train not standing at platform …

The mayors of Greater Manchester and Liverpool City Region were late for their press conference about “rail chaos” in the north of England because their train was cancelled.

6. BBC News website: The chess stakes get higher

As mentioned previously, in September Norwegian world champion Magnus Carlsen, accused US chess grandmaster Hans Niemann of cheating in a match against him. Niemann is now suing Carlsen for at least $100m (£89m).

Niemann is also suing website Chess.com, which published a report saying he had probably cheated in more than 100 online games. He says the defendants colluded to destroy his reputation and livelihood.

I wonder if the Sicilian defence works in Court

Run … then it rather fell apart, can you guess why?

Bournemouth – four days there and I didn’t even walk the 200 yards to the beach

The hill rep session on Monday morning was a very hard 8 reps for 9km and 265m ascent (5.6 miles & 870 feet). A little slower than usual because I developed a cold at the weekend.

The cold became a bit more of a concern when a friend we saw on Friday tested positive for Covid – but I guessed the fact that I had just done the run meant a cold was the worst I could have. I tested anyway as I was planning to give friends a lift to the evening’s swim doctor session … and it was positive … damn.

Does 8 hard hill reps with Covid count as a personal best?

I’ve dodged the Covid bullet for so long, I didn’t think it was going to get me. I can’t be sure where I caught it but everything points to last Friday evening’s musical event in the village church – it looks like that was the culprit as there is now a new wave of infections in the village.

My wife recorded a mild positive and then a negative, so we started taking the obvious precaution of me staying at a distance, wearing a mask and sanitising like it was going out of fashion.

I didn’t sleep very well on Monday with a nose that was simultaneously running and blocked but, apart from that, I felt reasonably good. I decided to drive down to Bournemouth on Tuesday as it would keep my wife safer and me properly isolated (rather thwarted by her confirmatory positive after a bad night on Monday).

The painter arrived at the house in Bournemouth late on Tuesday – luckily with the painting of the outside, my isolation wasn’t compromised. On Wednesday we had to cancel friends who were coming for lunch and I stayed in Bournemouth with the promise that the painter would appear – but he didn’t.

I cancelled Thursday’s intended visit to our older son, again on the promise that the painter would appear – but he didn’t. It turns out that his car had ‘exploded’ when the timing belt broke and the engine wrote itself off. He was typically over-optimistic about how quickly it could be back on the road – and typically useless at keeping his customer informed. I’d decided that he was trustworthy but was now doubting my judgement.

Friday’s gym and shop sessions went by the board too – and the painter finally appeared at about 5pm and painted the front door. That was great except that, it being quite chilly, I was there at 9pm using a hairdryer on it to help the paint dry sufficiently so I could shut it safely and drive home to Oxfordshire.

Saturday’s turn at ride leader for the cycling club was cancelled but in the post I received the invitation to book my Covid booster jab!

We had booked a walk and pub lunch with friends on Sunday so that went the way of everything else and was cancelled – we would have been beyond the standard 5 days of isolation by then but my wife had continued to suffer worse than me and it just didn’t seem sensible to try that much activity that soon.

A week of isolation, hanging around pointlessly, frustration and cancellations. I was lucky that I haven’t felt ill beyond the symptoms of having a cold – but I will be happy not to have another week like it. Under UK guidance I’m now able to get out as people are unlikely to be infectious beyond the 5 days, but I’ll still be taking extra care, just in case.

Almost no exercise, so more ‘interesting stuff’.

Interesting stuff this week

1. African wise words: Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable

2. BBC News website: Media Literacy

Finland is a high-trust society. According to an OECD report, 71% of the Finnish population trust the government, compared to the OECD average of 41%. Parliament, the civil service, the police and the media all enjoy high levels of trust. Critical thinking and media literacy is part of the school curriculum and children are taught the skills they need to spot fabricated information on social media.

There is a media literacy index indicating nations’ resilience to ‘fake news’. In 2021, of 35 European countries, Finland topped it with a score of 78, followed by Denmark, Norway, Estonia, Sweden and Ireland all scoring at least 70. The UK scored 62. At the bottom were Bosnia and Herzegovina with 19 and North Macedonia with 15.

Ah, but could this be fake news?

A high trust society is good – as long as the institutions you trust are trustworthy?

3. BBC News website: Fat Bear Week

Fat Bear Week 2022, saw people from around the world vote for the fattest bruin at Alaska’s Katmai National Park. Brown bear 747, tipping the scales at an estimated 1,400lbs (635kg), won 68,105 votes, beating Bear 901 with 56,876 votes.

Bear 747 nearly didn’t make it to the final because of an unprecedented case of voter fraud in the semi-finals as someone decided to spam the poll, but this was spotted and corrected by officials.

Chess, poker, match fishing and now Fat Bear Week – does (alleged) cheating know no limits?

4. BBC News website: Dame Angela Lansbury dies aged 96

The three-time Oscar nominee had a career spanning eight decades, across film, theatre and television and won acclaim as the star of the TV crime series Murder, She Wrote. She also won an honorary Oscar for lifetime achievement in 2013, a lifetime achievement award from Bafta in 2002, and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Very sad. Thankfully, no suspicious circumstances … who would have investigated? 

5. BBC News website: Gaming not a medal event at 2026 Commonwealth Games

Esports was a pilot event at the 2022 Birmingham Games, but the organisers of the 2026 Games, in Australia, say esports will not feature.

They have refused to give any specific reasons but there have been many high-profile cases of competitive gamers taking substances such as the drug Adderall to enhance concentration and performance. It is thought that doping in esports may have been a factor with concerns about the problems of arranging year-round drugs testing across the various gaming titles.

6. BBC News website: Brain cells in a lab learn to play video game

The research team grew human brain cells grown from stem cells and some from mouse embryos to a collection of 800,000 and connected this mini-brain to the video game via electrodes revealing which side the ball was on and how far from the paddle.

The mini-brain learned to play in five minutes. It often missed the ball – but its success rate was well above random chance.

Great potential heath applications, no doubt, but l find this a little unsettling: ‘Call of Duty’ next and then Skynet?

Swim, run (x4), walk (x2), cycle (x2), gym (plus entangled quantum states and who owns the tattoo?)

Running and cycling along the seafront – lovely

An unreasonably early start saw me drive to Bournemouth on Monday morning to meet the painter who is about to do the house down there. Back home for the evening’s swim doctor session.

Another early start and back to Bournemouth again on Tuesday. It looked like the week was going to be both tiring and short of exercise – I was already doing well with the tiredness but I did manage to get out for a run. It was hard work into a strong headwind on the way out to Boscombe Pier which meant I was too tired to get the full benefit of running with it behind me on the return leg. It was a reasonably tough 8.5km @ 5m 27s/km but, strangely, with a string of personal bests on the leg running into the wind.

Back home and in the evening I went to watch the Championship football game between Reading and Norwich – courtesy of my friend who is related to one of the managers. An entertaining match which ended 1-1 and an excellent evening in fine company.

I took a car in for its MOT on Wednesday morning. I had planned to run back via the gym but two 6am starts, a late night after the football and tired legs made it easy to decide to walk the 2 miles straight back home. More gardening and domestic stuff – and the car passed the MOT so I cycled in to pick it up later.

Back to Bournemouth again on Thursday at silly o’clock. I decided to embrace the idea of having an easier week so I just went for a short cycle along the seafront on the old Gary Fisher mountain bike I keep down there. There’s a 10mph speed limit for bikes and it was hard to go that fast on the way out into a very strong headwind – and hard not to go faster on the way back. Just the 16km (10 miles) but it felt further.

I took a second car in for a MOT on Friday (it passed) and then ran to the gym, did a weights session and ran home. After that it was the bike shop and apple picking. In the evening we went to an event held in the church where a lady from the village (I think she teaches at the Royal Academy of Music) and others played a range of pieces (extraordinarily well). Drinks and some canapés to follow made for a terrific evening. As an entirely music-talent-free zone I really appreciate the skill of people who can play.

My wife’s two brothers came for the weekend – it’s always good to see them but I could have done without the three dogs. I managed to fit in a run before they arrived, one of the usual 7.2km routes, taken gently. We all walked the dogs on Sunday morning but a delightfully restful day.

A lot of exercise sessions in the week but many of them were quite short. I think I needed an easier week.

As ever, I’m not expecting my ballot entry to get me a place for the London Marathon next year. However, a friend has pointed out that while the ‘good for age’ entry requirement for age 65-69 is 4 hours, the requirement for the age group 70-74 is 5 hours – which seems quite generous.

I wonder if I could do a marathon in sub 5 hours between July and October 2025 to stand a better chance of getting in for the 2026 event. There are limited gfa places and they go to those who are furthest below their target time. Not easy – but possible?

I expect they’ll change the rules (adversely) by then.

Interesting stuff this week

1. African wise words: He who loves, loves you with your dirt

2. BBC News website: After chess, it’s poker and match fishing

After allegations of cheating in chess, top-level US poker and match fishing have been dogged by claims of cheating.

A casino is investigating after a player with an underwhelming hand called an all-in bet, apparently convinced her opponent was bluffing, and scooped a pot of $269,000 (£241,000). Pundits commentating during the live streamed match expressed their incredulity at the move.

Meanwhile, two fishermen have been accused of stuffing their catches with lead weights in order to win a tournament held on Lake Erie, Ohio. Viral video showed an official slicing open fish at a weigh-in, extracting lead balls and even fillets of other fish.

Two things:

• there is such a thing as live streamed poker, with pundits???
• thankfully, cycling is beyond reproach when it comes to cheating and nobody has ever questioned that day when I rode 1000 miles on my unicycle

3. BBC News website: Nobel Prize in Physics for research into quantum mechanics

The award has gone to a three scientists whose work could open the way to a new generation of powerful computers and telecommunications systems that are impossible to break into.

This three laureates conducted ground-breaking experiments using entangled quantum states, where two sub-atomic particles behave like a single unit even when they are separated.

A bit like Jedward, I assume (Apologies to those unaware of Jedward – I suggest you keep it that way)

4. BBC News website: When you don’t own how you look?

The artist behind wrestling star Randy Orton’s iconic tattoos (this is what it says, I’ve never actually heard of Randy Orten) has won a case against the publisher of the best-selling WWE 2K video games. She claimed video game publisher, Take-Two Interactive, used her designs without permission. She won $3,750 (£3,300) in damages.

In 2016, Take-Two were unsuccessfully sued by artists for using basketball star LeBron James’ tattoos in the NBA 2K games without permission. At the time, James said “I always thought that I had the right to license what I look like to other people for various merchandise, television appearances, and other types of creative works, like video games.”

I’m not sure but presume that this is (at least in part) about the tattoos being on the Orton character in the video game?

The official court documents consistently refer to a defendant’s ‘principle place of business’ – just out of interest, does the US not use principal as the spelling for ‘main’?

5. BBC News website: Dart hits the bullseye

Last week, Nasa’s Dart probe was crashed into an asteroid to test whether an asteroid that might threaten Earth could be nudged out of the way by altering its trajectory. Scientists are now working to establish whether the test was a success.

Two days after the collision a comet-like plume of debris spreading behind the giant rock stretched for more than 10,000km (6,200 miles). It is expected to get even longer until it disperses completely, and will look like other space dust floating around.

Run (x4), swim, gym (x2) (parkrun No2, naked chess, robots and sailing for madmen)

Autumn seems to have arrived so it was a short sleeved compression top, a warmer long sleeved top and long tights for Monday’s 7.25km (4.5 miles) run with my wife.

Off to the swim doctor session in the evening; there were fewer drills and more front crawl than usual so I swam 1050 metres. It feels like I’m making some (almost imperceptible) progress but I still don’t love it and it will get harder to leave the house to swim as the evenings get darker and colder. Perhaps I’ll stick with the structure of the swim doctor sessions over the winter and reassess next year.

I had a good hour in the gym on Tuesday followed by some woodworking and mowing, in between showers. Having missed them last week while in La Manga, it was back to the hill for the usual 8 hill reps on Wednesday. This time it measured 9km and 267m of ascent (5.6 miles and 876 feet) but the Garmin seems to measure the same run differently every time. Inevitably, more mowing in the afternoon.

A short run (on very tired legs) with my wife on Thursday – 5.6km (3.5 miles). I rather overdid the cold weather gear so it turned out to be a bit of a sauna.

Gym for an hour on Friday morning and that was followed by the bike shop – a happy couple of hours replacing cables, fixing punctures, truing wheels and adjusting gears. The rest of the day was cold and wet but, eventually, it brightened up a bit so (despite sage warnings that it can become a bit of an obsession) my friend and I decided to go to the parkrun on Saturday.

There was every possibly of that being a mistake as it was my 9th session of exercise in 8 days but I enjoyed run, even though the label ‘race’ yet again meant that I pushed hard. People say if it’s not hurting, you’re not trying hard enough – at least I’ve cracked the ‘making it hurt’ bit.

The conditions were good despite a lot of rain in the previous 24 hours. There was a distinct breeze and a turnout of 116 runners. The run felt slower and tougher than my first parkrun last week and I really noticed the 30+ bends (most 90°) in the 5km. I wasn’t expecting much of a result but, to my surprise, I managed to get the ‘sub 25 minute’ monkey off my back by clocking 24m 36s.

Perversely, I’m quite pleased I didn’t go a bit faster as I don’t immediately feel the ‘go sub 24 minute’ monkey climbing aboard.

My friend and training partner was a few seconds behind me but had put in a good run on Friday which, I guess, will have cost him all that time. It tells me that, even though it’s only 5km, it does deserve a bit of preparation (no more that a short run or little leg work in the gym Friday morning and no more than 2 glasses of wine Friday evening?).

I was 29th overall but 5th on the ‘age grading’ list. My rating is 69.44% – nearly at 70% which is Regional Class Level. I was second in my age group. The chap who was ahead of me has run more than 130 parkruns and is a member of Gateshead Harriers, one of the country’s most famous clubs (think Brendon Foster, Jonathan Edwards, Richard Kilty) so I don’t feel at all bad about that.

I acknowledge that it’s a bit strange to take a 24 mile round trip for a run that is shorter than I’d do if I just stepped out of my front door. It’s fun and I like the competition – but it probably means that I won’t be there every week.

We have friends coming over for lunch on Sunday so a welcome absence of any exercise while I enjoy watching others run the London Marathon – very best wishes to them all. Oh yes, yesterday I put in an entry for the ballot for a place next year.

Interesting stuff this week

1. African wise words: Rain does not fall on one roof alone

2. BBC News website: Naked chess, a move too far?

World chess champion Magnus Carlsen has openly accused fellow player Hans Niemann of cheating.

Niemann (19) has admitted cheating online twice, when he was 12 and 16, but has strenuously denied ever cheating over the board. He says he is willing to play nude to prove his good faith.

3. BBC News website: Latest prototype of a humanoid robot on show

Optimus appeared on stage at a Silicon Valley event, where it waved to the audience and raised its knees. The robot, being developed by the Tesla electric car company, could be on sale to the public in a few years’ time at a cost less than $20,000 (£17,900).

People were shown a video of Optimus performing simple tasks, such as watering plants, carrying boxes and lifting metal bars. The Tesla boss spoke of “a future of abundance” ahead., saying “It really is a fundamental transformation of civilisation as we know it,” .

I wonder if ‘Skynet’ ever said much the same (or am I confusing science fact with science fiction?)

4. BBC News website: Golden Globe race – 3rd edition of the race since 1968

The race set off in September and consists of a nine-month, single-handed, non-stop sail around the world, covering 30,000 miles. It is ‘sailing like it’s 1968’ so entrants are limited to similar yachts and equipment to what was available to the winner, Sir Robin Knox-Johnston, in the first race. That means sailing without modern technology or the benefit of satellite-based navigation aids.

Nine sailors took part in the original 1968 event – just one finished and the others sank, retired or, in one case, disappeared in what looked like a suicide.

The rules bar entrants from contacting family and friends or putting into port. Some call it “a voyage for mad men”.

If only I sailed …